I’m great at the passive aggressive ending. Texts seem like such a passive way to reach out to a potential mate anyway, that I have no problem ignoring them until the suitor gives up. I’ve heard “If you’re interested, you can call me” more times than I can tell you. But I had never dated anyone from work before and I quickly realized it would not be so easy.
OC: I couldn't tell you this at work but I thought you looked fabulous today. Very cute. I hope you can make it to the office Happy Hour on Friday. If you can, would you like to get a drink with me after? I’d love to hear about the Swell Season concert.
L: Thanks for the invite, but I have plans on Friday.
I know it was cold. If I’d received something like that myself I would’ve been so offended. I might as well have typed “Thanks, busy.”
OC: Ah… ok. It seems like you’re always busy, so if you’d like to hang out again let me know. Hope you’re enjoying the concert.
I spoke to a friend about it the next day and she firmly but gently told me I couldn’t just keep blowing him off. “What if some guy did this to you?” she asked. But the truth was, this had happened to me before. I had been the one blown off, or promised a phone call and never received one, or been told a guy was “really busy” but he’d “get in touch soon.” It feels terrible but it is so much easier than dropping the bomb.
I have a friend who’s great at it. “Listen, Phil, I think you’re a very nice guy and I’ve enjoyed spending time with you, but I just think it’s better if we don’t see each other again.” She said it to his face. I decided since it had to be done with the OC, e-mail was my weapon of choice.
Just wanted to drop you a line because I felt bad about my vague text message yesterday. I think you’re such a nice guy and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don’t think this is going to work out. I hope we can still be friendly at the office.
All the best,
It should’ve made me feel better. A clean break. Done and done.
But he never responded. Why should he? And today when I saw him in the hallway, he stared down at his hands and bolted in the other direction. I guess I did the right thing by being honest but it sure doesn't feel that way when we pass in the hall.