Sunday, September 27, 2009

Year of Maybe


MP and I once talked about her ushering in a "year of yes."* See, MP had read a piece about a young woman who decided to considerably lower her standards, which then led her to accept virtually any advance by the opposite sex. Not exactly the safest way of meeting of men (we are talking about any advance) but intriguing nonetheless.

Here is where I stand on the issue: I don't believe in getting rid of my standards entirely, no, because I recognize my worth. BUT- after having been strung along for the better part of this year by a guy whose intentions were never clear, leaving me hurt, or worse, feeling like an idiot, I see things a bit differently now.

When interested in someone, even if that person showed little to no signs of reciprocating, I would ignore other overtures that came my way. A self-imposed guilt. I realize now that I didn't owe that person anything, least of all my devotion.

Even though I still care about P, my former European bike boy and now coworker, I'm going to entertain other options if they come about. And they have. I went out for sushi and a drink with B, the middle school boyfriend. A guy asked me out at a cafe the other day, and despite not being fully into him, I might just go. Really, what have I got to lose?

My "year of maybe" starts now.

*A couple of months into her "year of yes", MP met the lovely D.

1 comment:

MP said...

and he surpassed all of my expectations =)

i hope this year of maybe works out! in any event, i'm glad you're doing it - at the very least you'll learn so much about yourself and meet some new people in the process, and at the very most...well, one can only imagine!