So here I am, about two hundred grand in debt, an average law student with no job and no prospects and a boyfriend who wants to talk talk talk it out. I know the realities, so now I can focus my job search. I can narrow in on something that truly interests me. Things work out. There's a reason for all of this. Speaking with the career office didn't tell me anything I didn't know already, right? Of course job prospects aren't good. Of course I knew the big leagues were out of the question now. Of course I know I won't be paying off my loans in two or three years. I should be excited about the fact that I can go directly into work that I was eventually going to do anyway. The goal was to save the world right? So this way I'll jump into it a few years ahead of schedule. I have a boyfriend who loves me, supportive family, you know things work out.
Yea. Can we just not talk about it for a bit now?
Come on, don't do this, you know I'm here for you.
Right. Yes. Of course. I love you too. I have to go to class now.
Come on, please, don't shut down?
Sorry, I have to go, it's getting late.
The dream vanishes before my eyes. No extra time to explore options. No cushy job that lets me dabble in different areas without really taking a plunge. No keeping my options open. The world is still my oyster. Except for this. And that too. And the other. Easy peasy just went out of the window.
Fuck you, Candide.
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1 comment:
switch paths and be a writer... your posts ALWAYS give me chills, girl.
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