Wednesday, September 15, 2010

More than a Feeling

We were lying in bed, spooning and watching TV. I was drifting off to sleep when he put his hand on my shoulder so I'd roll over and look at him. I kissed his cheek.

"What?" I asked.
"Will you say something to me?"
"Will you tell me something?"
"Tell you what?" He scowls.
"Never mind."
I turn back to the TV and realize what he was asking. No, I can not tell you something. If there's something you want to tell me, you can put yourself out there a little and say it.

An hour later. Now we're lying side by side, about to go to sleep. He stares at me seriously for a second, and then in a quiet little voice, he says, "I love you." For one brief moment I tell myself not to say it back. My conventional mind tells me this isn't the way it goes. First comes commitment, then comes love.

But I love him. I do. Despite the non-traditional way this entire relationship has gone, I have grown to really love him. So I say it back.

And it feels so, so nice.