Why Can't We Be Friends?

Everyone has their own opinion on whether or not guys and girls can be friends. My opinion on that has never wavered: they can not. One is always in love with the other. The length of the friendship is determined by how well the lover can keep his love for the lovee under wraps. And if it isn’t love, by God, it’s lust.

J. was in love with me from the minute we met. He told me I was “different” and that he knew we could be really “special” together. He’s an actor. And I know actors. He fell out of love the very minute I fell in it. He wasn’t smooth about ending it and while I harbored a grudge for about six months, when we saw each other again I remembered why I had been drawn to him in the first place. We made peace and I felt content.

Cut to last week.
J.: Plans tonight?
L.: Having dinner at 8:30.
J.: Pool after?

This was my chance to test the theory. I had never actually experienced this before: dating a guy, hating him, getting over it, and being friends. But I did go to pool and I had a great time. Granted, his roommate came, too, but I had fun. Only one lingering “Remember when?” glance across the pool table (why do ex’es do that?!) and a hug goodbye. I got a text later.

J.: Really good to see you.
L: Good to see you, too. I like this friend thing.
J.: Me, too.

Liar.

Monday night.
J.: Plans tonight?
L.: Watching a documentary on Everest.
J.: Bring it over and watch it on the HD big screen. I’ll make dinner.

Friends! So glorious. And it was… until half way through the movie. A hand on my thigh. When I didn’t react to it, after a minute he took it back. He leaned close enough so we were semi-cuddling and I should’ve known then what was coming. The kiss.

I had to leave after I gave my “we can be friends or we can be nothing” speech, and I did so with a heavy heart. I didn’t want my theory to be proven correct. And another “friendship” bites the dust.