Take Off

My heart hurt for twenty-four hours straight. One of my biggest fears in the whole LDC situation was that I thought it was more than he did. And with his “I don’t want to make all these expectations” comment, I was immediately convinced that my worst fear had come true. I was laboring over this and he didn’t want to deal with clearing three days in his schedule.

Tuesday afternoon he sent me an IM. I tried my best to convey over Gchat that I was angry. It didn’t take too many one-word responses for him to get the hint. “You ok? You seem kind of tense.” I answered that I was but I didn’t really know what to say about it. He pressed me until I finally gave in.

And what followed was honesty. Pure, unabashed honesty. I told him about how the weekend was turning into a mess and I couldn’t believe that he told me he couldn’t take three days out of 365 to just be in town and hang out while I was there. “You act like I dropped a bomb on you today that I was coming in for the weekend and needed you to clear everything you had planned.”

He told me wasn’t going skiing after all and after explaining how he was afraid that it would be like Three’s Company all weekend long and that M. would feel like the third wheel, I assured him I would balance my time and everyone would be happy.

He apologized. Later that night he called and left a voicemail, one of two he has ever left me. He said he was thinking about me. He sent a text later on that simply said, “I can’t wait to see you.”

I fly out tomorrow and I have no idea what'll be in store when I land. All I know is that I feel better about taking off.